In the midst of this Christmas season, I had lunch with a dear friend of mine, Jay. Jay is a theologian and as we shared our Christmas lunch we pondered whether it was possible to maintain the Christmas Spirit all year long.
Jay explained to me that he saw the Christmas Spirit is an expression of grace. We both agreed that grace is the expression of unconditional love. Grace and unconditional love are, of course by definition, only possible in the absence of judgment. Grace must come in living from our soul.
As the psychologist in this dynamic lunching duo I offered to Jay that in my experience unconditional love is the consequence of rising out of, above, our usual circumstantial preoccupations. Circumstantial focus makes us dependent on conditions. Day in and day out we are captivated by the circumstances of our life, seeing our life as a series of problems that we must solve.
It this focus each day is daunting. “Why must life be so hard?” we think. And inevitably in this circumstantial focus we personalize what is happening to us and we begin to assume a posture of judgment. “If only my life were different” or “He shouldn’t be that way” or “If only I could change her then everything would be as it is suppose to be.” We can’t seem to appreciate that all of our life circumstances are simply part of our life experiences but they don’t have to be our experience of life.
With the preoccupation of circumstantial problems, the search for solutions and the inevitable, accompanying judgment also comes the anguish of a hard life. There is no spirit of goodwill in this life.
But, during the Christmas season, we temporarily adopt a perspective where we live from a higher order. The soul is the observer of circumstance but is not captivated by circumstance. In living from the soul we suspend our judgments and live out of a spirit of love. The result is the Christmas Spirit and “goodwill to all.”
Consider another way to think about this. Most days of the year we are living from our left-brain. It’s the part of the brain that most of us use at work. Our culture encourages us to live in the left-brain. But it is the left brain that is captivated by detail and circumstance. It is the left-brain that is the problem solver. But it is also the left-brain that is judgmental. In the left-brain life is a series of problems that must be solved. Left-brain life is hard.
But the right brain is the seat of playfulness and relationships. It is the right brain where we experience joy. It is the right brain that loves unconditionally. It is the right brain that is home to grace. It is the right brain that we visit during the Christmas season. But the right brain has the Christmas Spirit everyday, all year long. If only we would spend more time in the right brain at times of the year other than the Christmas season.
So Jay and I discovered that indeed it was possible to have the Christmas Spirit long after the holiday season ends. It requires living beyond the grind of circumstance, giving up personalizing and judging and offering unconditional love and grace. And it requires taking a step from the left-brain to the right. Try it! And Merry Christmas in this season and all year long!